A new beginning

What a whirlwind of a week!

It began last Wednesday with orientation. This was a great introduction to University (as I have never been before) and made me feel a lot more at ease with this big transition. The teachers seem really lovely, down to earth and helpful, although with a class of two hundred they have a big job ahead of them. Uni seems to be a much more organised organisation than Tafe, I think this is out of necessity. Web based learning seems to be a big part of the course, I hope not too much (I am dreading this first months internet bill)!

On my return to work, I was training the new old girl (she used to work in the head office of the company) and I don't think I have worked so hard in the whole two years I was there. I feel confident I am leaving my job in good hands, but with all the exitement I am feeling, to be honest it doesn't really concern me.

Monday starting with an 8am lecture! (I thought I was supposed to be scaling back my early mornings). Fortunately it seems to be a relatively easy subject and not too taxing on the brain for that time of morning. The rest of the week is at more reasonable hours, with nearly a whole day of lectures on Fridays and nothing on Wednesdays. I feel at a bit of a loss at the moment with all this free time, but I am sure it will soon be filled with much studying (I plan to ace all my courses) and part time work. For now I am just enjoying having a bit of a break and enjoying my daylight hours!

And so begins a brand new phase in my life and I couldn't be happier.

More patches

Here are the second and third patches for my Grandmother's flower garden quilt. They are getting to be rather tedious to blog about, but they take so long to do (about a week - I'm all about instant gratification) I feel like I should post them. Also I do love them so, I can't wait until it is finished.

Feeling a little bit frustrated with the direction my life is travelling in at the moment - I think it is just a New Year thing. I also seem more dissatisfied in the beginning of the year. Also I think I am feeling a bit unfulfilled after going from Tafe two nights a week to nothing. I have been trying to completely ban television from my life but unfortunately it goes so well with hand quilting. I need to do things that require me to be away from the television. Although I have been consciously trying to reduce television for a couple of years, reading Keri's ad-free blog really brought home for me how much garbage I have been filling my head with my whole life and how much of my memory I am wasting on stupid television shows and advertisements! Then I started to think, it is just a coincidence that as a whole the people of the world seem smarter than they were before television? It's hard to tell. Anyway, I think no television is the way to go for me.

Note to self: Growth demands a temporary surrender of security - Gail Sheehy

Life is sweet

I received my set of three Cahier Moleskines today (I only ordered them yesterday), and I am already hooked! The Cahier notebooks are the bottom of the range Moleskines, but they are a perfect introduction for me. Not too flash or expensive so I am not intimidated to use them, the perfect size and page number and having three means I can segregate my thoughts, ideas, sketches and souvenirs. I bought them from Remo and if I must be consumerist (and yes, sometimes I must) I can't think of a better place to do it.

Apart from being back at work already, I have had a lovely start to the year. On new year's day I went for a drive to Mount Tamborine. It is only half an hour away, but everything is so much more vivid and fresh up there. Some of my favorite things were; the way the red clay dyes the concrete footpaths and driveways, the agapanthas - we have them down here as well but the colour of them is so intense up there, sweet little butterflies enjoying the mass of plant life and the rolling hills and valleys stretching for miles and barely inhabited by humans.

In the evening Graeme and I took Dane to the beach for a run. The water was lukewarm despite this extremely temperate (for Queensland) summer. As lovely as this summer is, the change in climate is concerns me. It makes me feel a little helpless sometimes. The earth is such a beautiful place it makes me sad to think of the damage we are doing to it, even when we try not to.

Two nights ago I had a moonlight dance in the rain. The droplets were fat and happy, the clouds were purple and the moon was full. I would say the moon made me crazy, but it is too late for that. My soul was refreshed and my heart full of joy.

I hope I can have many more lovely times with nature this year.

I am kind of glad not many (if any) people read this because a lot of the things I write here are a little queer and don't come out quite right - maybe I could keep some things in my Moleskines only.

Farewell 2006, Hello 2007

Sometime in late 2004, I got it into my head that 2006 was going to be "my year". I don't know what made this occur to me and I didn't expect to have to work for this change, I just expected things to magically go right for me. Now that 2006 has come and gone I no longer think that this past year was predestined to be a wonderful year for me - I think the positive changes that occurred had more to do with my thinking that it was going to be a great year.

While 2006 hasn't turned out exactly as I imagined (when does that ever happen) it has been a good year and I have learnt some important lessons.

I have learnt to find joy within myself rather than allowing my feelings to be dependant on other people or external circumstances.

I have learnt to be a little more wary of who I trust. My life has been fairly untouched by devious people until this year (lucky me) and I have learnt that some people are very good at hiding their true selves. However, I am not going to let this make me bitter or close my heart - I am just going to take a little more care.

I have also learnt that I can do just about anything I am put my mind to it. Completing my part time diploma with such good marks has been a much needed confidence booster. Even though I do not really want to pursue a career in my area of study, doing the course has motivated and prepared me for continual learning and self improvement.

Come on 2007!

This year I am going to be true to myself, stand up straight, keep learning and go to Canada. I am hoping that putting these hopes in writing will solidify them in my heart and allow me to enable them.

Broken Camera

I took my wee little Canon Ixus 40 to be repaired today. The optical zoom hasn't been working for quite some time and even though I am thinking about getting a larger digital camera, I would still like the convenience of a handbag camera. It should be repaired before Christmas, so in the mean time I am planning on reacquainting myself with slow photography.

Even though I love the convenience of digital photography, I also love the "thingness" and traditionalism of film photography (and no chance of deleting photos). It also goes with my recent philosophy of slow living. I have starting forgetting to take my mobile phone with me and am trying to reduce my television viewing. Even though recently I have found myself bored with television, I will keep it on anyway - for background noise. A habit of twenty or so years is hard to break!

In this noisy world I am starting to savour silence and stillness and long for simpler place or time (place might be the more realistic option). Maybe I should Marry a Farmer.

However, this is all a bit fanciful and hypocritical as I love the the inspiration and knowledge that comes from the internet and quite enjoy the many conveniences that modern technology affords.

Small things

Following on from my previous post on thanks, here is a list of simple, inexpensive ideas to make myself happy;

Create: knit, sew, paint, draw, cut, paste, a garden

Donate: time, money, clothes, a shoulder

Explore: the neighbourhood, the city, the hinterland, parks, zoos, museums, art galleries, on a bike, on foot

Learn: about an acquaintance, how to draw, basic French, silversmithing

Relax: read in the bath, watch the sky, laugh

Share: a meal, a favourite thing, knowledge

Plan: a tea party, an adventure, a surprise

Play: with kids, in the water, the violin, backyard cricket

Thankful

Although we don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Australia, Keri's post inspired me to examine what I am thankful for as I am feeling a little frustrated by my career (of lack thereof) today.

I am thankful that I live in a free country and have more than enough money to meets my needs.

I am thankful that I have no serious health problems and that my all of my family is in good health.

I am thankful that I can see (with the aid of my contacts) and hear and taste and smell and feel. The world is truly glorious and it makes me so glad to see a sunset or smell the warm salty breeze and listen to the crashing waves or feel a hug.

Finally, I am thankful that I have found a way to manage my depression and be able to see the wonder of these things rather than focusing all my attention on trivialities.

I could go on but I think that is more than enough for which to be grateful.

I did it!

Last night I completed my last exam for Tafe! I feel a little bit giddy. Now I can go shopping for fabric and piece my grandmother's flower garden without feeling guilty that I am not studying.

The quilt is coming along slowly. I am tacking more hexagons from the new fabric I have obtained since I began.

Even though I have only just started a quilt that is likely to take a very, very long time to complete - I am already formulating ideas and buying fabric (second hand, of course) for my future quilts.

Quilt number one;

Plain Spoken made with mens plaid shirts. I know this is kind of goes against the principle of a true Plain Spoken but the idea is embedded in my head now. At first I was going to do it in retro browns, oranges, creams and yellows - but I am finding those colours are far less common than blues, which happen to be very nice. I have been conflicted over which colour to go with until I decided to make it double sided! A bit ambitious maybe, but why not.

Quilt number two;

A Victorian fan quilt to satisfy my obsession with L.M. Montgomery who made a crazy quilt in her youth (even though she grew to dislike it). I will place my fans in this fashion;



This quilt is held by the Metropolitan Museum of Art which also holds other intricate American quilts and coverlets including a hexagon quilt from the 1830s! I will use traditional Victorian colours and fabrics but the style will be less "crazy".

Quilt number three;

Will be a simple Single Irish Chain quilt in white and blue. This is sadly another L.M. Montgomery reference as this quilt is mentioned in Emily Climbs, Jane of Lantern Hill and maybe Further Chronicles of Avonlea (the blue and white patchwork in Her Father's Daughter).

I am also in love with Joyce's Double Wedding Ring quilt (and the history of it) however I think that is a bit out of my reach especially considering my previous commitments.

Hopes and expectations

The reason for this blog is to keep a record of things I am thinking and doing and also to put in writing my goals and dreams. I have heard that once something is put in writing it becomes more real and attainable.

So, here it goes.

My overall goal is to start "living" more. For the last couple of months or so I have been trying to figure out what that means for me. I have come to the conclusion that at this stage in my life I need to be experiencing more of the world and enjoying life instead of just regretting the fact that I am wasting it. I realise that this won't happen over night and I will have to shift a lot a bad and lazy habits. I am only twenty-five but I have been behaving like somebody much, much older for as long as I can remember and it hasn't got me anywhere. That doesn't mean that I am going to lose all responsibility and dignity, it just means that I will try to lose my acorn of bitterness and weariness with life and start it enjoying it for the wonder that it is.

To this end, my first goal is to move to Melbourne early 2007 (i.e. January to March). Once I get there I plan on taking an art course, a photography course and any other courses that take my fancy. I plan on going out for dinner, going to concerts and shows and the football. I plan to open my mind and not have a television. I plan to excercise and be more proactive in my work.

That is a pretty big start and I am quite excited about - however I have a large hurdle to overcome, but with God's help, my own strength and the support of my family and friends I hope to overcome it and start being happy!